My last update was written during the recovery of a rather high fever, so please forgive me for any mistakes or nonsensical ramblings. Thankfully I recovered from the fever, with in two days, and was feeling well at the start of the week; just in time to be in the Labour Room. As I began my “four weeks till home journey” earlier this week, I faced all of the many emotions that come with such a journey. I began to think about my friends and family in the States, and being just weeks from seeing their faces. A year is a long time to be gone. And yet, here I am. I delivered four babies this week, each one a gift I will never fully understand. I love and hate this never ending battle between present, past and future. Daily I find myself lost in memories of “yesterday”, or dreams of “tomorrow”. Seldom do I ever allow myself to be fully consumed in “today”. Just this morning during a lovely phone call I was reminded of how amazing my “today” actually is; I was given the beautiful gift of perspective. Perspective is something I am desperate for as of late. The other day I was driving down the overwhelmingly busy and crowded street, and saw a beautiful young woman hobbling around with two horribly deformed legs. She used two worn down wooden sticks for make shift crutches, and suddenly my “unbearable” blemishes didn’t seem to matter as much. Perspective.

I have three weeks left now, three weeks of a season filled with experiences many have never even dreamed of, and a season I will never again be able to relive. Lately I have been thinking about how important it is to fill my voids with the breathtaking presence of God and not with my present circumstances. I long for home, but when I am home, I will long for here, or for somewhere else. It is not in situations or seasons that we find ourselves, but in the promises and presence of God. If I leave here unsatisfied, I will only return home unsatisfied, and continue to live a life of dissatisfaction. However, if I find myself as I look into the face of God, and allow myself be filled, made whole, renewed by His abundance, then I will be filled, made whole, renewed everywhere I am, no matter the circumstance. Whether it be babies, hospitals and all things “woman”, or coffee houses, conversation, and inner city, I am filled. Well, I can be. Whether I am or not simply depends on my willingness to abandon my “rights”, humble myself and draw from the well of life; the well that, over the last year, I have discovered to be far deeper than I ever imagined. So this week I delivered four babies, I did washing with the dying and destitute, I laughed with the dymas, enjoyed the rain, saw an incredible lightning storm, and leaned better how to love. I was humbled, convicted, stretched, grown, and made stronger. Next week I will begin to paint a huge tree on one of the walls of the hospital; a feat seemingly impossible, and something I feel I am not capable of doing. With humility, and the help of others we will paint a promise on the wall that speaks of a tree whose leaves are the “healing of the nations”. It’s the promise of a new world, a renewed world, where women do not labour in vain.

“Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever. The angel said to me, "These words are trustworthy and true. The Lord, the God of the spirits of the prophets, sent his angel to show his servants the things that must soon take place."

Revelation 22:1-6

Here I am, in India. There you are, wherever you are. And here He is, all around us. It matters not what we are doing, but how we are doing it, and who we are doing it for. I assure you that if we are doing what we do for ourselves, we are only left wanting, empty, unfulfilled. It is only when we do what we do for Love that we are filled, and our actions actually make a difference. I could spend the next three weeks counting down the days, longing for something more. However, when the three weeks end, and I move on to the “more” I will only find that I fill my voids with things that do not last, and it will only be a matter of time until I am empty yet again. So, I will draw from the well. Perhaps I will just jump in…

“Only by living completely in the world can one learn to believe. One must abandon every attempt to make something on oneself--- even to make oneself a righteous person” Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Babies... Oliver Ted, Carmela Sharon, Jordan Jeremiah, Aslan Wesley, they make 25, 26, 27 and 28 babies delivered.