I feel as though when I write updates, I often conjure up the most romantic thoughts, or situations brought about my week. I think about things that touched me in one way or another, about things that I feel like would touch you. In fact one of my favorite things about “going out” is writing home to tell about my experiences. I feel as though if I tell a pretty enough story, it will stir us up to truly love and serve one another. If my pictures are enough to break hearts, then maybe just maybe we will try to right all of the wrong in the world. I love to write to awaken. And I thank you for those of you who respond, for those of you who allow my stories to touch you, for those who think about what I say, about what God is doing here.
But I fear I may only paint one part of the picture, and for that I apologize. It is true, this life I live is full of beauty, excitement, wonder, and love, but there is a cost. There is pain in the offering.
I have missed my grandma and uncle pass away, I miss my first nieces being born, I miss special birthdays, baby showers, holidays, weddings, pregnant friends, engagements… things that come only once in a lifetime. And here I am a world away. I’ve come to grow rather anxious of Saturdays, my appointed day for emails. Who will have written? Will it be good news? Will it be bad news? Who else is getting married? When will the wedding be? Will I miss it? Who has died? Who is sick? Who is pregnant? Who had their baby? How is she doing? How is he doing? How is this going? How is that going? What am I missing? Who am I missing? I imagine I wouldn’t find it so hard if I had never been blessed with such an amazing family, and community of friends; people whom I truly care about their well-being. I want to be able to support them by smiling proudly as they walk down the isle. I want to hold them as they morn the loss of their best friend. I want to rub their pregnant bellies and play silly baby shower games. I want to watch my nieces grow; I want to watch families being born. I want to spend time with my grandma. I want to go to Cameron and Anna’s wedding. I want to see my sister-in-law’s beautiful belly. I want to watch my brother become a father for the first time. I want to see Skylana as a mommy. I want to see Lindsey blossom as a wife.
It always takes me a while to enter back into “Middle-East-mind” after a Saturday full of emails. When I do, I realize that it is a worthy cause. I’m so thankful to be here. Others have paid a far greater cost than I. “Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.” Proverbs 14:4. This is how the world changes; because of sacrifice. I suppose its sacrifice that has made me who I am today, it’s the reason I leave home. I go to tell the world about the beautiful sacrifice that has changed the course of the entire world, the sacrifice that paved the way to true and abundant life. It’s that sacrifice that brings hope to the hopeless, joy to those who morn, peace to the restless, bread to the hungry, water to the thirsty, strength to the weary. It’s the sacrifice of my king on the cross that makes my seemingly small sacrifices so worth my while. What’s more is that He sees them as well. And He catches each tear I shed when thinking of what I have given up in coming here. And at the end of the day, I am always blessed. Because it’s His character that out ways circumstance. He is good. He is loving. He is trustworthy, He is hope. He is peace. He is life. He is Love.
Isaiah 58:6-12
Aunt Evie, you will be missed dearly by many. And forever I will carry your song in my heart. “Bessie, Bessie, I’m a little messy. I’ve been painting my wagon green. I had no brush, so I used my hand. I’m the messiest mess you’ve ever seen.”
What a beautiful day it must have been, when you went into the arms of our Savior. I look forward to the day when I will meet you there. In a land when there will be no more death, no more tears, and nor more pain. In a land where restoration is evident, and Love conquers death. Revelation 21:1-7
He is worthy. To Him must the glory be given.
With blood and sweat, you made a choice to give you’re life, and with blood and sweat I give you mine. “Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lor.d, and he will repay him for his deed.” Proverbs 19:17
With these small, humble, sacrifices I repay you Je.sus for the price you paid for my joy, my peace, my freedom, my life. With every smile I give, every hug I give, every breath I breathe, may I bless you. That my life would be you’re reward. You are worthy.
James 1:9
But I fear I may only paint one part of the picture, and for that I apologize. It is true, this life I live is full of beauty, excitement, wonder, and love, but there is a cost. There is pain in the offering.
I have missed my grandma and uncle pass away, I miss my first nieces being born, I miss special birthdays, baby showers, holidays, weddings, pregnant friends, engagements… things that come only once in a lifetime. And here I am a world away. I’ve come to grow rather anxious of Saturdays, my appointed day for emails. Who will have written? Will it be good news? Will it be bad news? Who else is getting married? When will the wedding be? Will I miss it? Who has died? Who is sick? Who is pregnant? Who had their baby? How is she doing? How is he doing? How is this going? How is that going? What am I missing? Who am I missing? I imagine I wouldn’t find it so hard if I had never been blessed with such an amazing family, and community of friends; people whom I truly care about their well-being. I want to be able to support them by smiling proudly as they walk down the isle. I want to hold them as they morn the loss of their best friend. I want to rub their pregnant bellies and play silly baby shower games. I want to watch my nieces grow; I want to watch families being born. I want to spend time with my grandma. I want to go to Cameron and Anna’s wedding. I want to see my sister-in-law’s beautiful belly. I want to watch my brother become a father for the first time. I want to see Skylana as a mommy. I want to see Lindsey blossom as a wife.
It always takes me a while to enter back into “Middle-East-mind” after a Saturday full of emails. When I do, I realize that it is a worthy cause. I’m so thankful to be here. Others have paid a far greater cost than I. “Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.” Proverbs 14:4. This is how the world changes; because of sacrifice. I suppose its sacrifice that has made me who I am today, it’s the reason I leave home. I go to tell the world about the beautiful sacrifice that has changed the course of the entire world, the sacrifice that paved the way to true and abundant life. It’s that sacrifice that brings hope to the hopeless, joy to those who morn, peace to the restless, bread to the hungry, water to the thirsty, strength to the weary. It’s the sacrifice of my king on the cross that makes my seemingly small sacrifices so worth my while. What’s more is that He sees them as well. And He catches each tear I shed when thinking of what I have given up in coming here. And at the end of the day, I am always blessed. Because it’s His character that out ways circumstance. He is good. He is loving. He is trustworthy, He is hope. He is peace. He is life. He is Love.
Isaiah 58:6-12
Aunt Evie, you will be missed dearly by many. And forever I will carry your song in my heart. “Bessie, Bessie, I’m a little messy. I’ve been painting my wagon green. I had no brush, so I used my hand. I’m the messiest mess you’ve ever seen.”
What a beautiful day it must have been, when you went into the arms of our Savior. I look forward to the day when I will meet you there. In a land when there will be no more death, no more tears, and nor more pain. In a land where restoration is evident, and Love conquers death. Revelation 21:1-7
He is worthy. To Him must the glory be given.
With blood and sweat, you made a choice to give you’re life, and with blood and sweat I give you mine. “Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lor.d, and he will repay him for his deed.” Proverbs 19:17
With these small, humble, sacrifices I repay you Je.sus for the price you paid for my joy, my peace, my freedom, my life. With every smile I give, every hug I give, every breath I breathe, may I bless you. That my life would be you’re reward. You are worthy.
James 1:9
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